Some Tips to Make the Most of Father's Day

Father?s day is being celebrated in many countries around the world this Sunday, including the United States and Canada.

If you have an aging father, each Father?s Day becomes a little bit more melancholy as the passage of time and the aging process becomes more evident. We want to be able to make the best of the time spent with our fathers and to gather as many memories as possible.

Whether you?re going to your loved one?s home, to their residence (assisted living, memory center, etc.) or whether they?re coming to yours, Father?s Day is a wonderful opportunity to open the lines of communication and learn more about their family stories.

If you?ll be visiting your father or spouse at an assisted living facility or nursing home, call ahead to let the staff know and to ascertain when dinner might be served so that you have plenty of time for an unrushed visit.

Try to make the atmosphere as relaxed as possible. Remember that elders can become anxious and agitated when there is to much commotion. Also, keep in mind that elders can become chilly easily (even in the warmer months) so consider having some layered clothing available.

If your loved one can communicate, here are some ideas of things to talk about in order to elicit memories and family stories (don?t forget to either jot the answers down or to videotape the conversation). Photographs are great too, so remember to bring a camera.

How did they celebrate their own father?s special day?
What was his favorite Father?s Day gift and why?
Who was his best friend and what was the most exciting adventure they had together?
What kinds of chores was he assigned to do when he was young?
Who was his favorite teacher and why?
What was the best meal that his mother ever made?
What kind of music did he like when he was young? Did he go to dances?
What was his first car? (very important to a guy)
Does he have any war stories?
Did he have any favorite pets and what were their names?

You may also want to bring along a few photos from when you and your siblings (or children) were younger in order to talk about his recollections of them.

If you can?t be there in person, you might want to attempt a quiet conversation by phone ? schedule a few times to chat? and take notes.

There are a lot of other questions that you could ask. Make a list this week and be intentional about gathering some of your family?s stories before it?s too late to obtain them. You?ll be glad you did.

Shelley Webb has been a registered nurse for almost 30 years, with experience in the fields of neonatal intensive care, dialysis, case management and elder care. When her father came to live with her in 2005, the advantages of her medical experience became clear. Due to his dementia and congestive heart failure, her father was not able to care for himself alone any longer and so she took over these duties.

Having experienced the helplessness, frustration, overwhelm and even loneliness that care giving for an aging parent brings, Shelley is well aware of the emotional and educational support that caregivers need and so she began The Intentional Caregiver web site. With its weekly newsletter, daily news updates and monthly audio interviews of experts in elder care and supporting services, Shelley strives to encourage and educate caregivers so that they can be empowered to provide the best possible care for themselves while caring for their aging loved one(s).

In her spare time, she enjoys gardening, raising chickens, ballet classes and wine tasting.

Please see: http://www.intentionalcaregiver.com/

Source: http://www.womenfavor.com/home-and-family/fatherhood/some-tips-to-make-the-most-of-fathers-day.html

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